Jan 25

Photos from today: 

Breakfast: nothing

Lunch: bananas and strawberries and honey

Dinner: garlic noods and kale and carrots and bell peppers

Feelings: shitty day tbh. one of the worst in a long time. i woke up not feeling well. my head hurt and i felt so sad and just unmotivated to do anything. i did lab but just laid in bed after for like 2 hours. i couldn't bring myself to get out of bed even though i knew i had a lot of studying to do for physics midterm (tmrw). i just wanted to cry all day. i studied for a bit but then couldn't even go to pick up yaya with hayden because i had to meet with my interns. i put on makeup and got dressed to look presentable for the meeting, but once those were done, i was back in the dumps. hayden was in his class at around 5, and i felt terrible, so i went out to talk to mom and dad and yaya. while i was talking to them about my feelings, i started panicking because mom was asking so many questions. i was hyperventilating because i couldn't breathe, and dad had to get a paper bag over my nose and mouth. it was really scary. after, dad helped me get a list of psychologist from ucla heath that i can call and try to schedule appointments with. i just don't want to feel like this anymore. later, after studying for a while, i went to charge car with hayden and take a break. being with him helps me clear my mind, so i'm glad i have him as my safe person. i stayed up until like 2 am studying for physics, but i was getting every question right, so i had hope for the midterm success. overall bad day. 0/10