Catching Up- February 1-14

 Hi blog, hi hayden, hi future hannah. 

i've been really busy and really behind, so i'm going to try to catch up with some notable things that have happened this first half of february. 

first off, i've been exercising more consistently, which is a huge plus. i'm trying my best to focus on progress and consistency rather than immediate results this time around, and im trying to eat healthier too. 

i've been going home every weekend to spend time with hayden and family because i'm still having a really hard time being here. i'm really busy with tasa and taiko and (new) pre-pa club, but instead of making me happier, they're just acting as distractions. at the end of the day, once everything is done, i still feel alone and empty and hopeless. and i don't know what to do.

superbowl happened and LA won. bengals stayed on campus and forced bruinwalk to be closed and also woke us up at 6 am with their practice music. very happy rams won.

lunar new year also happened. we got together with mom's side of the family (what's left in socal), and we relaxed.

prepping for cultural night with taiko is stressing me out, but it'll end this weekend.

valentine's day weekend was sweet. hayden and i made scuffed burnt-chocolate dipped strawberries (taste like crispy rice), went on a picnic with nugget and subway cheese charcuterie board, and prime in wine glasses. got a flower and hayden bought a batman pop figure. spent time being close to each other. made me realize again how grateful i am for him.

anyways, february hasn't been all that special. just trying to survive at this point. trying to take one day at a time.